Do you believe in true love?
The kind that makes your knees weak,
Heart race —
A pitter patter too fast for rationale.
Your face flushes and
Your breath is shallow —
Somehow you can no longer speak,
Left to the mercy of circumstance.
I believed in that love,
But I’m not sure anymore.
When I look into your eyes
I see the memories I worked to forget —
The walls come down,
And it all comes pouring back.
The worst is
It’s all the good things
All the excitement,
The terrible things we did,
The places we could’ve been caught and
The silence we never kept —
The reason I fell for you in the first place.
But when I look into your eyes,
I see you have your own walls now.
You have her.
It’s a knife,
I feel it turning within.
I thought that I could
Now that time has passed.
But it twists
An insidious ugly
That infects throughout
And turns me to someone I don’t like.
You hold the knife,
And I can’t move away,
Leave the ugly behind.
He leans in,
His face is so close —
His hands are closer.
I back up,
Turning my face,
Fear choking my voice.
He can feel it,
The power is a high –
I can see it in his eyes
That he likes it.
He likes that I squirm,
He likes that he has the control.
And there’s nowhere to turn.
His hand grazes my thigh,
And I hate myself as I stand there.
He laughs and moves
Ever so slightly.
Just stop to breath a second
Go back to the beginning
Two, three drinks to clear the head,
Was it so different then?
Can’t tell if I was choosing to be blind,
Ignoring all the telling signs,
We thought we’d risen above that time,
But we’re still choking on the grime,
Will we all make it down this narrow road?
Or only those who try alone.
I want to hold you through this night.
You wouldn’t know this,
But when I dream, it’s still of you.
I find it funny that you were ever mine —
Funny in a breaks my heart kind of way.
I won’t call. I won’t look. I won’t ask.
But I can’t help but flinch when I hear your name,
Or relive a memory from that time when we were us.
Every love song reminds me of what could’ve been
But never was.
I won’t ask if you dream of me.
Is caught, a bubble
That won’t pop or move
And its lodged in my throat,
Tightening my chest and making
It difficult to breath.
A standardized method
To determine one’s worth on
Paper. What will mine say